April 12 - Is that a fat joke?

Episode watched: Screech sees the future.

You know how Lisa and sometimes even Jessie, frantically eat when they are nervous or have an issue? Like when they are trying to study for Mr. Testaverde's exam and Lisa is eating an extra large chocolate bar in the locker room? Seriously, the locker room? That's probably the most disgusting place in any high school. Our smells like a combination of B.O, urine, sweaty socks and Axe body spray. 

Well, I have these friends who remind me that there's a fat joke right around every corner.  I appreciate when they fill me in on accidentally receiving a size 14 dress, how they eat boxes of Cheezits for desert or when their waiter brings them the wrong appetizers, they eat them anyway and ask for their original order as well.  I support them in their endeavors, I just encourage them to find better places to indulge.  Just remember, greasy and fatty foods lead to pimples, acne and Bertha.

Lesson learned: When getting talked to by a teacher, respond when appropriate by asking "Is that a fat joke?" Silences them every time. 

March 26-April3

For you "Year of the Bayside Tiger" purists out there, you may want to stop reading right now, maybe cancel you subscription or file your complaint with management.  For the rest of you who just appreciate a bit of Saved By the Bell in your life, please continue on.  It has come to my attention that during this horridly busy time of the year it is nearly impossible and overly stressful for me to do this every single day.  After much thought and deliberation and consulting with my lawyers, I have decided that I will continue on with this, but at my leisure.  If I can make 7 connections a week...wonderful. If I can only make 2 a week...equally as wonderful.  This is supposed to be fun and you know that if Saved By the Bell stops being fun, then life stops being fun. I apologize to those who expect greatness, but sometimes "okayness" is just as...okay.

March 26
Episode watched: none
Annie did her best "Running Zack" impression today when she competed in the National 1/2 Marathon in Washington D.C. and knocked 6 minutes off of her best time. I'm not sure if she channeled her Native American forefathers (which she has none of like Zack) or if she channeled the power of our nation's forefathers, but she certainly kicked butt and got an "A" in my book. 

April 1
Alright, so my dad gave me a little scare tonight at dinner when he told me that he watched an interview on CNN with Zack's old best friend from the show who is now blind and a practicing lawyer as well.  Of course all us (well, really just me) assumed that it was Mikey from the Ms. Bliss era and I became very concerned. I did a bunch of research and came up empty with this whole blindness this for Mikey, mostly because his current job is as a hockey official for the WCHA (the same conference the DU Pioneers play in, which may explain some terrible calls this season).  After a little more digging I found that it was, in fact, Weasel from the New Class of Saved By the Bell shows that is now blind and a practicing lawyer...really an incredible story, check out the link below. 
http://www.voanews.com/english/news/a-13-2008-06-16-voa44-66752892.html?CFID=28

April 2
Today is my birthday...woohoo as much as I'm excited about birthdays, but I did get numerous posts, texts or messages that brought up Saved By the Bell. I also appreciated my friends who said they tried to think of something from SBtB, but were unsuccessful. Even that simple shout out is awesome and I'm glad that it has a presence in people's lives a little bit more now than before.  My cousin sent me the text "See you in Belding's Office for the surprise party" and I even got a video from some friends which I have linked below...kind of funny.

I also decided to wear my Bayside Tigers shirt out and about today, got a "Go Zack Morris" in the bathroom...not sure how to feel about that.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4_TUFpYVSzc&feature=related

Lesson learned: Must make life easier in areas that you can control...also, don't trust your father with pop culture information.

March 21-March 25 A Wild Week

March 21
Episode watched: U2 Concert
We had one of those lacrosse games where we just kind of rolled over and played dead. No energy, no enthusiasm and seemingly no desire. Our locker room meeting afterwards was a little bit of a reality check and come to Jesus conversation. I'm thinking I need to get a Mr. Belding in there giving the pre-game speech as long as he doesn't hurt anyone's knee on the way to the field. When you've only got 12 kids on your team, you need everyone to remain as healthy as humanly possible.

March 22
Episode watched: Party in Malibu
I watched "Waiting for Superman" tonight, still not entirely sure how I feel about the movie and the message. Not sure if I agree with what needs to be done with teacher unions or if the public school system really is failing American kids. Definitely a must watch movie for all teachers, parents and people who care about education.  I think Bayside had it right: small class sizes, numerous course offerings, student enrichment projects and a local gathering place for students. Maybe Geoffrey Canada could consult with Aaron Spelling and Mr. Belding about educational visions.

March 23
Episode watched: Palm Springs Wedding Part 1

Jessie (Elizabeth Berkely) was on the radio today being interviewed about her relationship with the other cast members and if they still kept in touch. Her response was that they still very much keep in contact like good high school friends. They call and text and keep up with each others' lives.

March 24
Episode watched: Lisa's Fashion Show

It's been a rather wild week at work and I can't necessarily elaborate on my personal feelings towards the issue in a public forum (would be happy to in a private forum) but I have put the link below so you can fill yourself in on what's going on in my office.  The students are trying to fight for their rights and what is important to them. Jessie did they very same thing on senior ditch day and the gang fought against the oil company when it was destroying the pond behind their school.
Link: http://www.denverpost.com/news/ci_17704242


March 25
Episode watched: College Years: Mike's DateI got called out by one of my students today about not keeping up with my blog, so here you go JRod, I'm keeping up with as best I can. I'm glad I've got my students to keep me in check. He also told me it's okay if I even just write a sentence, but I better keep it going.  This sort of bullying will only last as long as you're my student (so like May 27th right?) Cool.

 Lesson learned: My school has been in the news 4 times this school year, how about yours?

March 20

Episode watched: none

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that we've all had one of those Tom Cruise + Risky Business moments at some time in our life right? Singing and dancing across the hard wood floor in sunglasses and a business shirt...or at least we've thought about it.  Even Screech, Zack and Slater have one of these moments when Screech's mom is out of town. I'm going to let you all in on a little secret, I have honestly never done this. But I'm thinking about it, on a lazy Sunday like this, it's a possibility in the near future (like within the year) I might find myself "singing" and "dancing" across my hardwood floor. Yet I must put "singing" and "dancing" in quotation marks as my interpretation of singing and dancing is much like Rebecca Black's interpretation of singing.

Lesson learned: After Friday, comes Saturday and Sunday.

*If you don't understand the reference, look it up on Youtube.

March 19

Episode watched: None

Our friends have one of the most awesome babies/toddlers/kids ever. We spent the evening at his 2nd birthday party and he's a totally cool kid (besides the fact that he's going to grow up a staunch Florida Gator supporter), but ever since they had him I think I've put him on the top of my list of coolest kids ever. I just have to make sure he grows up playing lacrosse, not baseball. The funny part of the party is that Annie and I were severely outnumbered by married couples and little kids. We're used to it, but it reminds me of the parenting experiment that the gang has when they are "married" to each other and have kids. The thing I don't understand about that episode is how is Mr. Belding a teacher? That man wears far too many hats, I'm thinking he needs an assistant principal or two.

Lesson learned: Cookie cakes are delicious...always.

March 14-18

I'm thinking that during this busy time of year that these weekly blogs will be the norm or else this blog won't happen at all. Feeling the pressure for sure and hoping this makes it a whole year.

March 14
Episode watched: Zack Attack
The situation in Japan is very serious and very scary, but whenever they mention the 9.0 earthquake I am reminded of the earthquake episode in SBtB and that's when Zack and Tori deliver Mr. Belding's baby. It's amazing how many secret hallways and back parts of Bayside that we so rarely saw.

March 15
Episode watched: Jessie's stepbrother
During the episode when engineers strike oil at Bayside, they are in the process of building a new football field. These days a lot of high school are receiving new turf fields and some of them even have lights so games can be played later. It would have been nice to have one of those new fields at my school this evening when my lacrosse team decided that they wanted to take our game into quadruple overtime and nearly run out of daylight...in case you care, we lost.

March 16
Episode watched: The Love Machine
Have you ever noticed how much gambling, betting and wagering occurs throughout the years in SBtB? Whether it was Mr. Carosi offering a discount on his car to Zack if they won the volleyball tournament or Zack and Slater betting on girls, a heck of a lot of it happens for high school students. I say this as I sit with my 4 different brackets open trying to figure out how I will be successful for once during March Madness.

March 17
Episode watched: The Chess Match
As the most wonderful weekend of the year begins, March Madness, I am nostalgic of Zack Morris's very short, but very important basketball career. It's amazing that in that group of 6 high school students they had the basketball star, track star, football star, wrestling star, chess star and the leaders of the girl's swim team and cheerleaders. Now that's what I call involvement. I also call that a clique.

March 18
Episode watched: Greek Life
During one of my classes, one of my students referred to herself as "Vally" and she told me that she calls her best friend "Socks", but what I heard was "Sucks". So I told her that's funny "Vally Sucks" just like like in Saved By the Bell the rival school is known as Valley. She gave me the usual high school WTF face.

Lesson learned: Work productivity is severely impaired during March Madness.

March 9-March 13

Episodes watched: Running Zack and Glee Club

*Things have been too crazy to post everyday some I'm just going to summarize each day as briefly as possible.

March 9
An email I received today: "Zack reminds me of you...in that everything he owns in his damn closet in one color...GREEN. He was imagining Kelly today and she was standing in his closet saying 'wear this one Zack. I love how this color looks on you.' But she really doesn't have a choice because it's the only color he wears. This is also the episode where Belding tries to hangout with the guys b/c they are all fighting with their girls."

March 10
Heard on Mike and Mike this morning:
"Dwayne Wayde refuses to watch TV anymore because he is sick of hearing the media talk about how he cried. (cue in SBtB theme song) Why doesn't he just watch Saved By the Bell? Your older brother is on it Mike."

March 11
A couple wonderful friends of mine sent me a "Bayside Pride" shirt and I rocked the hell out of it today. It's awesome and ads to a nice rotation with the other Bayside shirt.

March 12
We notched our first victory today for the season, kind of feels like Screech when Lisa kisses him on the cheek during the Valentine's day episode. We're playing that underdog role for the season, we're skinny and quirky, but persistence is key and eventually we'll get what we want.

March 13
Remember when the gang worked at the Teen Line and people could call in for help? I'm thinking that a lot of Colorado Buffs basketball fans will be looking for a similar outlet for their emotions, being that the Buffs got completely dissed by the NCAA Tournament and left out of the 68 team bracket...that's a rough Sunday.

Lesson learned: Less time equals fewer words.

March 8- Getting Caught Red-Handed

Episode watched: Fake Belding, Fake Dad

This was classic: today as we were touring the new building on our campus with our principal, we walked past part of the building that looks at the back side of our theater.  Sitting there as if it were the 60's, two students who we all knew were taking a quick cigarette break...on school grounds, with the whole English department watching and the principal. Our principal surprised them to say the least and said some things to them that we couldn't hear but I would assume they won't be smoking on school grounds anytime soon. Saved By the Bell you ask? Did none of you hear "Hey! Hey! Hey! What is going on here?" in your head? Because I don't think that's exactly what our principal said when he addressed it but it certainly would have been one of those moments.  A classic moment when you understand you're caught and no matter what you say, you're dead wrong.


Lesson learned: Leather jacket with collar flipped up + leaning against a wall + cigarette = cool (If you're Danny Zuko)

March 7 - That Good Ol' Country

Episode watched: Zack gets the hots for the school nurse

Nothing like getting the random text at 6:30 in the morning that says "Bayside radio...KKTY, awesome." That pretty much made my day incredibly easy with the challenge, but it really got me thinking...why was their radio station KKTY? I couldn't figure out why they wouldn't call it something more creative or more closely tied with Bayside and the Tigers. I found out that a radio station in Wyoming is KKTY.

Lesson learned: More than 50% of all radio stations in Wyoming are country oriented.

March 6 - Root Down

Episode watched: None

Remember when Jessie and her geeky eco-friendly friend Graham decided to protest the use of polystyrene cups at the school? No? It's okay, I do and I'm going to make a stretch on this post mostly because it's Sunday and partially because no one really cares. We went to a delicious breakfast restaurant this morning that Jessie and Graham certainly would have appreciated. Organic is all the new rage these days and I most certainly am guilty of feeding into this trend, but it's okay to be trendy when it's something like this. It's almost like anti-trendy.  The restaurant is called Root Down and it is based on a use of organic foods. Hit it up, seriously. If this were a food blog I would devote an entire post to the deliciousness of this place...and that's only brunch. Do it, protest bad restaurants.

Lesson learned: Refilling your water out of a container that's not a traditional water pitcher is cool and makes the water taste better.

March 5 - Fat Tuesday

Episode watched: None

As the world celebrates Carnival and the drunks and unruly line the streets of New Orleans, I think it's only fitting to make note that SBtB had their own "Masquerade Ball" and attempted to make it as mixed up and crazy as some of the world's finest celebrations. Granted in that episode it was all about miscommunication of love and deception, that Aaron Spelling sure tried his darndest to make one of the most wholesome shows into something wild and crazy. Could you imagine SBtB on a primetime spot today? I'm thinking Mardi Gras + 4th of July + wild frat parties.

Lesson learned: Elizabeth Berkley is a bead hog at Mardi Gras.

March 4 - An Assist

Episode watched: Zack Proposes

This one was easy and I didn't really have to do anything, it just fell into my lap...er, my email inbox. I appreciate that everyone is helping me out through this endeavor. My email read: "by being selfish and throwing a party to impress Leslie, Zack gets in trouble for having beer, further gets in trouble by being selfish trying to get out of the punishment, and (the this never happens in real life part) gets out of trouble and everyone loves him in the end. Lesson learned: don't take the easy way out because only your boyfriend will probably love you in the end."

Lesson learned: It's spreading, this "Saved By the Bell...itis?" The swelling or inflammation of the Bell??? I need to think of a new name for that.

March 3 - Brown-Nosing

Episode watched: Can't Remember!

This one was perfect today because I saw it on yesterday's episode.  Zack is trying to kiss up to Mr. Belding and Belding throws out the line "I'm not a straw, stop sucking up." I used that very same line today during one of my classes when one of my kiddos was trying to get/stay in good standing. (She is once again very proud that she helped me fill my blog quota for the day.)

Lesson learned: Telling your teacher "You're the worst teacher ever," will not work in your favor...ever.

March 2 - No Pity Parties

Episode watched: Valentine's Day

As I have commented on before, the number of students and the size of Bayside throws me off and question what's going on over there. Rarely if ever have we seen a full classroom or complete sport's roster. How could the football team only have 5 members? I finally know what they feel like.  When we separated our varsity squad from our JV squad today, we only put 9 kids on the varsity team (and 2 were absent).  The funny thing is that you have 10 players on the lacrosse field at a time...could be an interesting season. This is why we bill our kids as some of the hardest working and most fit kids in the state. Check in for updates on what I'm hoping the state will accept as a new 8-man lacrosse game.

Lesson learned: Start feeder programs to help build numbers in area.

March 1 - Ponytails and Pinchitters

Episode watched: The Family Project

I learned something new today at school: males and females can play sports on different gendered teams not only if the sport doesn't exist at the school, but also if a similar sport is called something different. Boys can try out for the softball team and girls can try out for the baseball team. I have zero problems with this, I just found it interesting. I've always known that a girl could join the football or wrestling team like Kristy did at Bayside when she joined the wrestling team, but didn't know about the similar sport different name rules.  Some of my female students are trying out for the baseball team, good for them and I hope it goes well. I'm glad I learned something new for the day. Heck, I'd probably take a couple girls on my lacrosse team this year as long as they could hit and stand the smell of sweaty lacrosse boys (somewhere between sour milk and wearing shoes without socks), with declining numbers I'm sure they'd be a good addition.

Lesson learned: I had a boy with a ponytail on team a couple years ago, kid could hit.

February 28 - When the moon hits your eye...

Episode watched: Student Council Elections

Sometimes when we make dinner at home it's like an assembly line of things going on. We've got vegetable chopping, things on the stove top, prep stations and this is just for two people. (Gordon Ramsey would be so proud) Tonight we dove into our pizza making much like when the gang helps Screech with his "new" spaghetti sauce and they all have their specific roles. They've got the label area, handling the jars, screwing on the lids, the packaging and it all goes flawlessly when they work together, but the second they get frustrated and speed things up it all fails. We're learning that the most difficult thing when it comes to cooking is timing things out, making sure each piece gets done without the others getting cold or overcooked. Luckily we're getting this whole home cooking thing down to a science and luckily we're just cooking for two. But if anyone's looking for a place to invest, we make one hell of a homemade pizza.

Lesson learned: Pull your dough out of the fridge for about 10 minutes before you knead it. (pun intended)

P.S. I hate Dancing With the Stars, but tonight they announced that The Karate Kid was going to be one of the contestants. Let's go Ralph!

February 27 - And the award goes to...

Episode watched: None

The Academy Awards were on tonight. As a general rule I hate all award shows, partly because there are far too many and partly because I think they're slow, boring and especially hate any musical portion of the show. I think what would give me motivation to watch an award show is if they would stretch what they gave awards for. Best Movie, Best Actor, Best Sitcom or Best Album don't do much...what about a classic award show. On a yearly basis or I'm even willing to budge on maybe every 5 years, (to make it more special) bring back washed up, drugged out television stars that we all love. Needless to say this would include the stars of SBtB, but what about other Saturday morning classics like Hangtime and City Guys? TGIF shows like Family Matters and Step by Step and dare we even delve into Nickelodeon classics like Pete & Pete, Clarissa Explains It All and The Secret Life of Alex Mack?  Now that's an award show I would watch. 

Lesson learned: Fantasy will never become reality

February 26 - Customer Service

Episode watched: None

I think for any store, customer service and support are the key to getting and keeping customers.  The nerds couldn't run the school store anymore at Bayside because, as I would assume, they were nerds and couldn't pull in any customer base.  So Belding let Zack take it over and we all know (or maybe just some of us) that he got his business by making a calendar of the swim team + Mr. Belding. Not that I think this is okay, but he wanted to get customers. I recently found a new store in the area that is a lacrosse equipment dealer. Now, for anyone that knows the lacrosse world, most lacrosse players are arrogant and what we call "Lax Bros." That's pretty much what I get when I deal with a lot of equipment vendors...until now. This new store does all the right things, has pulled me in as a customer and has me telling other people...and they didn't need to entice me with an issue of SI's swimsuit edition.

Lesson learned: Not all people are sold on bikini's and skin...well, not always.

February 25 - A Little Peppy

Episode watched: Kelly kisses Professor Lasky

It was spirit week at school...rah, rah! We had shortened classes and a big pep assembly at The Max...wait, no sorry, I wished it was at The Max but I don't think our student body could fit in there. It was amazing that we have a student body of approximately 2200 students and maybe, if I had to guess, 1300 show up at the assembly. Where are the other 900?

Now the real question is how big was Bayside and why were there only like 30 people at their pep assemblies? Did they have a truancy issue?

Lesson learned: The producers and cameramen should have done a better job making me think that Bayside was a real high school.

February 24 - Getting off track

Episode watched: Zack and the pop star

Today was a little bit tougher, I had to really stretch my creativity and thinking for this one. Granted, dozens of my others are large stretches as well, but who really cares? As we're about to start the lacrosse team we've all of a sudden had a flood of wrestlers come out to practice. This is a very good thing, as they have discipline, work ethic and they're strong.  It made me wonder if Bayside would have had a lacrosse team, would Slater have tried out? I know he played football and ran track, but I'm thinking he would have appreciated the lacrosse field rather than just turning left during track practice. (Get it? Track runners always run counter-clockwise, why don't they ever change directions?)

Lesson learned: If track runners switched directions occasionally, they wouldn't have to buy new shoes as often...confused? Think getting your tires rotated.

February 23 - I'm Hurt

Episode watched: Zack and Nikki's project

There's the episode when Zack hurts his knee during basketball because of some freak accident in the locker room with Mr. Belding. If you watch the episode Zack pretty much crumbles like cotton candy under anything. He barely touches Mr. Belding and all of a sudden he's got a major knee injury that results in surgery. They didn't even attempt to make it look real, painful or scary, yet the next thing we know he's in a knee brace waiting to be cut open.  I had one of those moments during practice today. I've been coaching lacrosse for 6 years now and somehow haven't gotten injured during a practice or playing with the team...until today. In a non-contact drill where I was literally standing as a decoy I knocked knees with a kid and crumbled to the ground like Zack. He somehow found the perfect spot on my knee to force me to put zero pressure when I walked and hobble around like an old man...I think I can now empathize with Zack's cotton candy insides. 

Lesson learned: Lacrosse sticks can double as a walking cane...awesome. 

February 22 - Those Teachers

Episode watched: Ms. Bliss's Money

There are those teacher (Ms. Bliss, Mr. Belding) that students connect with while they're in school and far beyond school as well. I always think of those two television teacher and Mr. Feeny from Boy Meets World of the teachers who have been able to relate to their students in a unique and wonderful way. One of the main reasons for teaching for me was those same kind of teachers I encountered and connected with. There were very few, but luckily I still see or talk to them today.  We had a nice surprise during our in-service today that one of those teachers came and led our professional develop. It was great, as usual, to see her and catch up and remember why parts of high school were good and why I wanted to teach.  Hopefully everyone has a Bliss, Belding or Fenny.

Lesson learned: Some cliche saying about people affecting our lives and leaving an impression. Just type in inspirational quotes + teachers in google.

February 21 - Resolution #2

Episode watched: None - thank you presidents of the USA

I hereby resolve, until the month of April, to not use Jessie on caffeine pills as one of my references. As of tonight I did it for the third time this year when we were out to dinner with a friend and he mentioned his girlfriend going to bed later and later. Of course my mind went immediately to the caffeine pills. But as of now, this moment in time I promise to not use this episode as a crutch for at least the next 5 weeks.  I'm sorry that's the single greatest moment of any SBtB episode. I'm sorry it applies to life in so many ways. I sorry to my millions and millions (okay like 10-12) of readers for the repetition and possible laziness. But you better sure as hell expect a reference the first week of April, I can only give up my addiction for so long.

Lesson learned: Repeating the same thing over and over loses your audience...maybe that's why I hate the morning news when I see the weather 3 times throughout a 20 minute block.

February 20 - Dress Like a King

Episode watched: None

We were at King Sooper's doing a bit of grocery shopping today and out of the corner of my eye I caught somebody dressed a bit strange. I wouldn't have thought much of it if we were in Aurora, Commerce City or any Denver grocery store, but we were in the ever-so judgmental Greenwood Village. And this guy was dressed in all white with sequins and yes, and Elvis wig. At first I thought maybe he was on his way home from a Bachelorette party gig, but realized that it was Sunday afternoon.  Not only was he comfortably walking around the store, but he worked there too! I'm not the biggest Elvis fan, but I remembered that Screech's parents were and even left him alone at the house while they went and paid homage at Graceland. I'm very impressed with this young kid for wearing this work, I'm wondering if he lost a bet or if it was dress up day in suburbia.

Lesson learned: Don't wear white after Labor Dar...especially with sequins. 

February 19 - A Brand New Car

Episode watched: None

My sister comes up in this blog quite a bit, I think it's because she's one of the people that are constantly trying to feed me material for my resolution to help me actually make it through this year.  She's in the process of purchasing/searching for the ideal car right now.  As she does this I cannot help but think of the multiple "car incidents" in SBtB, either when the gang goes drunk driving or when Lisa crashes Mr. Belding's new car.  With the case of Mr. Belding's new car being crashed, I'm hoping that when my sister does finally decide on a new car that she A.) Doesn't use it to go on dates B.) Finds a good mechanic so when it does break, it can be as easily fixed as when Jessie's step-brother fixes it.

Lesson learned: Find a good mechanic and stick with them.

February 18 - Yearbook Deadlines

Episode watched: Kelly works at Skeeters

SBtB sure makes working on the school yearbook look like an incredibly easy thing. I mean, granted they were only working on a video yearbook and it wasn't exactly the best thing in the world, but somehow Zack screws the whole thing up by making it into a dating video and then fixes the whole thing in one night.  I've been advising the yearbook now for 5 years and there is absolutely nothing easy about, especially when something gets screwed up big time.  But I felt like Zack today coming in just under the gun with our final deadline. We worked until literally the absolute last minute before we had to send it all in and when it was said and done we finished. We've been working on the book since July and now, in the middle of February, it's done and turned in and now we can sit back and enjoy a week of movies and laziness.

Lesson learned: Putting together a 300 page book can't be done in a day...it takes two.

February 17 - Class Pets

Episode watched:

We were doing an incredibly excited comma exercise in class today when one of the sentences mentioned a pet fish and not cleaning the fish tank. One of my kids told us about how Beta fish just won't die, even when you don't clean their tanks. She continued on to tell us that she was sad when her pet fish died, I said to the class "Yeah it's sad when a pet dies, like when Slater's pet lizard Artie died and he was torn apart." I pretty much got blank stares and then the class continued on like their teacher was a little bit senile. 

Lesson learned: No matter how much you don't feed your Beta fish, they won't die.

February 16 - "It kind of looks like a girl"

Episode watched: Class rings and Battle of the Sexes

I think this blog may officially be coming to an end and it has nothing to do with my laziness or apathy, it's because of Justin Bieber, that effin Justin Bieber. Not to name any names, but my sister called me tonight and told me that she wasted (my words, not hers) $8 on that craptastic Justin Bieber movie and during it she said that one of his managers or crew members was wearing a Bayside Tigers sweatshirt. This floored me, mostly because I would like to distance myself as far away from that no-talent turd.  I'm torn in this post, because I'm not sure if I'm more embarrassed that I have six-degrees of separation from Bieber or if it's because my sister paid money and spent time watching a movie about a 15-year olds "journey" through his musical career...nice high voice, ask Hanson how that worked out in the long run.

Lesson learned: Never say never, unless it's to Bieber fever.

February 15 - Dead wrong

Episode watched: None

For the first time in a long time I was wrong about something regarding Saved By the Bell, luckily I am man-enough to admit when I'm wrong and confess on a public forum. I don't recall exactly how the topic came up in conversation tonight, but as we were watching TV there was a mention about how someone disappeared from a show and then surprised people on an episode soon thereafter. Annie said that it was the same as with Kelly in the College Years when she was gone from the first episode and then the next episode she was enrolled at Cal U. I didn't believe her, I said she was dead wrong and was definitely in the first episode...a couple minutes later (thank you world wide web) there was a note, that in fact, Kelly was not in the first episode and later became a suite mate. I hate being wrong, it feels all...not good inside. I feel like Ken Jennings on Jeopardy right now, a computer holds all the answers (and my girlfriend).

Lesson learned: Jeopardy would be no fun if IBM always had a computer as one of the contestants...unless it was Short Circuit. 

February 14- That Lovin' Feeling

Episode watched: Valentine's Day rewind

Today was one of the only times that the morning episode I watched actually kind of matched up with my day.  The episode is when the gang sits around the Max and reminisces about all the good times that they have dealing with love and relationships and how Valentine's Day sometimes brings out the best in people. Every year in my Yearbook class we have a classic Valentine's Day party where kids make cards for each of their classmates and kids also have the option of being creative and making a box, bag or some other very creative thing to hold their Valentines. It's a throwback to the good ol' days of elementary school when you'd make a brown bag tacky glued with foam hearts and your name and then nervously walked around the room and made sure that the cards you were giving to girls didn't say anything too lovey-dovey...maybe that was just me. Whatever the case, it's always fun to think about the old days when things we easy, fun and carefree.

Lesson learned: Saved By the Bell reminds me of the easy, fun and carefree times in life. 

February 13 - This ain't no candy-striping!

Episode watched: None

In my life I have two people close to me who work in the medical field, my brother being a doctor and my good friend a PA. My PA friend gave me a call today to catch up on life; he told me about all the ridiculous things he has done at work lately, the crazy hours and the less than normal patients. Between his and my brother's stories, I now understand for many reasons why I never got into the medical field. I'm guess that when Lisa was a candy-striper and working for her mom at the hospital that she never saw half the stuff either of these two people saw. Zack's broken leg? That's a cakewalk compared to the burn unit or the maternity ward.

Lesson learned: Worst time to work at a University-based hospital? August = drunk freshmen.

February 12 - I Got My T-shirt

Episode Watched: None

As you may have guessed based on the name of this post, I opened up my mailbox today and sitting in there, in all of it's glory, was my "Bayside Tigers" t-shirt. It's amazing, it has simply made my day and I can't wait to wear it. I don't need a comparison, a connection, a quote or anything special...do you know why? Because I got my T-shirt!

Lesson learned: Classic is cool.

February 11- Something Like Love

Episode watched: College Poker Game

Today's conversation:
Student 1 walks into class carrying large Valentine's bag with gift in it.
Me: "Uh-oh who's that from?"
Student 1: "Just some guy."
Me: "Some guy? Boyfriend?"
Student 1: "No just a boy in my gym class."
Me: "Well what is it? It looks like a blanket and some other stuff."
Student 1: " I don't know, I'll look...a blanket, a heart pillow, and a ring pop."
Me: "And this guy is not your boyfriend?"
Student 1: "No, he's a some random guy I just met in my gym class."
Me: "But he got you a present? With hearts? And a ring pop?"
Student 2: "This is like something Screech would do for Lisa."

Lesson learned: Fastest way to a girl's heart? A ring pop.

February 10 - Jucieheads and Gorillas

Episode Watched: The Senior Prom

Jessie and Slater started it all. They started the trend of fighting with your significant other on television and making it a spectacle that people couldn't help but watch. Slater was a macho pig with minimal intellectual capacity, while Jessie was a pretentious princess who had issues with her personal image. We've seen countless television couples over the years take on these roles with very little thanks to Slater and Jessie. As I sat and watched the Jersey Shore tonight, I couldn't help but think of where it all began and I'm sure somewhere out in the reality television garbage can, couples like Spencer and Heidi and Ronnie and Sammi are thanking the original dysfunctional couple for getting the plane off the ground and making verbal abuse worth millions.

Lesson learned: If you constantly fight with your significant other you will end up one of two ways: in porn or plastic surgery.

February 9 - The Zoo

Episode watched: Lisa's fashion show

Alright, so follow my train of thought in my poorly constructed metaphor. At the zoo there are animals who they have that 20' foot ravine separating them from the onlookers; there are the animals who sleep all day and no matter how many gummy bears you throw at them they don't move and there are the animals that swing from limb to limb and wreak havoc all over their living quarters. Well, my 4th hour class is the zoo. Today I got a new sleeper. She looked like "Zack" when they dressed up the skeleton in detention so he could make it to the Max.  Let me set the scene for you: today is her first day in class, she walks in, doesn't introduce herself, sits down and for the remainder of the period puts her head on the desk and sleeps. As I now recognize the top of many of my "sleepers" heads, I gently poked the shoulder and asked her who in the world she was. I got a half-assed name, no eye-contact and a "I'm tired, I'm just going to sleep." As I was about to give up on the educational system, I took a step back, dug into my sno-cone and watched the ritual head-butting.

Lesson learned: Don't feed the animals.
*Disclaimer: this is simply metaphorical and not meant to insult. 

February 8 - This will make you tear up a bit

Episode watched: Jessie's Dad's wedding

Not only do I love watching Bizarre Foods, but I certainly enjoy having a go at various odd eats. I'm definitely going to have to learn to stomach some weirdness while in Cambodia later this year.
Somehow Screech gets a hold of some chocolate covered grasshoppers imported from Afghanistan, he offers them to Lisa and ultimately Zack gets a hold of them and gives them to Mr. Belding. The reason I bring up the chocolately goodness of the these creepy crawlers is because while watching Bizarre Foods tonight, Andrew Zimmern took a stab at trying one of the more odd foods I've ever heard of covered in chocolate...a raw onion. And it's not like he was in Afghanistan, Armenia or Australia,  he was in Pennsylvania.  He sank his teeth in and warned all that it's a treat that should not be enjoyed by anyone. I think I'd tend to agree, when Andrew Zimmern warns you about a food, it's a good idea to keep your distance. The only time it's appropriate to eat raw onions is in the book Holes when you're nearly starving to death.

In case you're interested in the onion yourself: http://www.chocolatebymueller.com/about-chocolates-mueller.htm

Lesson learned: Not all things covered in chocolate taste good, even if you're menstruating.

February 7 - It's T-shirt Time!

Episode watched: Malibu party time

I feel naked...no, no, no not in that "I'm not wearing anything while watching The Bachelor" kind of way, but in more of the metaphorical way. (Students read this) During my normal lunch bunch time every other day one of my kiddos told me that she had a SBtB shirt, I didn't believe her. She told me it had all of the couples matched up, I'm not going to believe it until I see it and I'm kind of a bit jealous if it's the truth, but either way it got me thinking about this metaphorical nakedness. I say I'm a fan of the show, I talk a big game but realized that amid ALL 35+ of my college t-shirts and my collection of thrift store shirts I don't have a single SBtB shirt. How can I rep. this process if I'm not repping the Tiger? So I'm on the prowl (yep, pun intended) and I am spending the evening ordering the ideal SBtB shirt. Ah yeah, t-shirt time, yeah!

Lesson learned: You can buy a Screech-style wig for a mere $12 or you can just be Jewish and let your hair grow out. Toss up.

February 6 - Disgruntled Fan

Episode watched: None

Listen, America, I'm not going to continue on with this blog if we don't start to give Saved By the Bell the attention and respect that it deserves. How is it that Full House and Family Matters get shout outs during a Super Bowl commercial, but the NFL can't take the time to throw a Raiders shirt on Slater or a Rams jersey on Kelly? Why I am even committing myself to this resolution if the show isn't given its deserved praise?

They had that commercial about the original of certain items, like the record player and such. People were walking around the street with Zack Morris cell phones. There's a reason they're called Zack Morris phone...the impact is huge. Give these kids some freaking thanks. Zack Morris = Steve Erkel = The Fonz.

Lesson Learned: These aren't Happy Days because obviously Family doesn't Matter when you've got a Full House and don't include Saved By the Bell.

February 5 - Beat the Tigers

Episode watched: None

There's nothing like a good old fashioned rivalry. I spent the evening watching one heck of a DU vs. CC hockey game and of course the good guys won.  Although DU came up lame Friday night, they stuck it to the Tigers and beat them 5-3. As a sports fan I really don't think that there's anything better than a long-standing hatred for your bitterest rival. Too bad these days rivalries are all talk and very little action during the game. Bayside vs. Valley attempted to bring that idea to the television screen and at times came through with a great show, while other times really limped around like a lame dog. If I had to choose the best Bayside/Valley rivalry episode I think it would be the cheerleading competition. The one where they "kidnap" Screech and the Valley kid dresses as the tiger.

Lesson learned: The Bayside gym had the capacity of maybe 50 people. Were they division 1A?

February 4 - I, Robot

Episode watched: 1st week of college

We have a Robotics team at school, which I think is totally awesome and it's helping kids get introduced to a field early so they will be more successful. Two of my freshmen were talking about the club, one was trying to convince the other to join the club. He was trying to explain what their robots do, yada yada yada. I kept hoping that he would tell his friend that their club was building a human-like robot that could perform daily tasks, just like Kevin, Screech's robot friend. But to no avail, he explained that their robot had to move things from place to place and did not resemble a human in any way. To be honest, I was bummed. When are we going to start to prepare students for the real future, when we all have robot servants and robot friends?

Lesson learned: I should invest in one of those iRobot Roomba vacuums to prepare.

February 3 - Radio Top 40

Episode watched: The gang finds money at the mall

Sometime at the beginning of my first class today the line "one is the loneliest number" came up in passing and one of my students and I continued on to sing Three Dog Night's "One is the Loneliest Number." The awesome part about this was that the song was performed in 1969, which is well beyond my years, but even further beyond hers.  I didn't know that high school students appreciated oldies; but is there anything better in music than a golden oldie? I used to wake up every morning to KOOL105;   I told her that our singing reminded me of when Casey Kasem was one the show hosting a radio segment. The real great thing is that song was on the Billboard Top 40 at some point, which means that Kasem himself would have introduced and commented on that song.  Kasem's voice and impact on radio is timeless and I can still remember his voice filling the movie theaters before previews came on introducing the next hit on the list. I thought he was just some local radio guy.

Lesson learned: People with "Golden" radio voices must be a hit in rehab. (i.e. Ted Williams) No pun intended on the word "hit".

*That's three radio references in a row.

February 2 - Radio reference #2

Episode watched: none

Whoever came up with the idea of a radio show hosted by one, single human being without any counterpart deserves to be Brett Favred, you can determine what is meant by that on your own. Slater had the unfortunate task of being the sports guy on Bayside KKTY radio and boy was he miserable and I don't blame the guy. How can any good sports radio personality be witty, controversial, or entertaining when they're just talking to themselves? Mike has Mike, D-Mac has Big Al and Jim Rome has...his ego, but here in Denver after 7pm Sandy Clough has the unfortunate responsibility of hosting a 4 hour show by himself and damn is he boring. He draws out his words, he has awkwardly long silences and can't find humor if it jumped out of the microphone and bit him. Somehow he's found "success" in the 65+ demographic, while Slater was left to his own demise and had to talk about high school sports alone (kind of like Jesse Horne...anyone? anyone?). If Zack would have been man enough to jump in and tag-team that sports segment, that episode wouldn't have ended with the cliche success of Slater saving the day. Thanks Slater for saving the Max!

Lesson learned: You can now watch radio shows, now I know for sure that video killed the radio star. Thanks MTV.

February 1 - The Golic Boys

Episode watched: None...thank you snow day.

(Thanks to my friend Kathy for help on this one) Long before the vision of this blog came to me, I would spend my early mornings before work flipping between the news, SBtB, and Mike and Mike and for some reason the connection between two of these didn't hit me until recently. I'm going to blame it on the fact that it was 5:30am and the brain was fully awake. At least once a week (depending on the frequency of The College Years) Americans are able to spend their mornings with the Golic (Bob and Mike) boys in their prime...or maybe their prime was when they were actually playing in the NFL. Regardless, Mike Rogers (Bob Golic) warms our hearts as an R.A. trying to reinvent himself academically after an end to a pro football career. I'm think being an R.A. isn't going to do that for you.  If I just scroll up 5 channels I get all the best sporting news from best duo in radio/t.v. Mike and Mike. I don't know whatever happened to Bob Golic or if he ever did get that diploma from Cal U, but wherever he is I'd like to encourage him to cut that mullet...you're not a Raider anymore buddy!

Lesson learned: Giving birth to kids the size of the Golics must have required lots of epidurals.

January 31 - Once in a blue moon

Episode watched: Jessie's brother

Remember when the gang had senior cut day, but Zack couldn't go because he needed to be in class to graduate? I've had a steadfast moral opposition to ditching classes since high school and now that I teach high school I am even more opposed (except for my own senior ditch day of course) Because Zack had so many academic issues he wasn't able to enjoy his own cut day and lost some serious flirting time with Kelly...and more importantly Kelly bikini time. I do however enjoy the occasional day off or mental health day, but for right now there is no need to take one, why? Because tomorrow's a SNOW DAY! Well to be more exact it's really a "cold day" but nonetheless when my principal unnecessarily announced 20 minutes before the end of the day that there would be no school tomorrow, the roar of the students and the sighing of delight by the teachers could be heard throughout the hallways. I did a little jig in my office, I said a little prayer of thank you to the snow gods and I packed my bag full of papers to grade on my "day off." Needless to say that tomorrow is going to be a good day.

Lesson learned: Let the water drip and keep your cabinets open to prevent your pipes from freezing.

January 30 - Early Retirement (no thanks)

Episode watched: None

I've been thinking about retirement a lot lately, I've been think about how it's still 25 years away. I thought about when Zack and Jessie dressed up in disguise as old people and how they couldn't keep up the facade for too long. I've constantly thought to myself that it would be great to be old and not have much to do (read, paint, garden, steal things from the store and blame it on my age). The I snap back to reality and realize that that's not something I should wish for. Being young is where it's at, I like when my students think that I'm 22 or when I get carded for R-movies.  I think that this whole blog helps me remember how awesome being young is. We idolize people in their prime, when they are at their best and when we can relate to them the most. Who seriously liked Tiffani Amber Thiessen on 90210? Mark-Paul Gosselaar on NYPD Blue or Lark Voorhies in How High? (That's like the only thing she's been in since SBtB.) Thanks gang for helping me keep it real. I'm going to continue on with this young thing.

Lesson Learned: Elizabeth Berkly wasn't all that bad in Showgirls...I'm just sayin'.

January 29 - Dating

Episode watched: None

I know this girl. We go way back, almost my entire life and definitely her entire life. We have a few things in common: same high school, same parents, some shared DNA. I want to protect her identity. She called me tonight and tried to help me out with today's post, she knows I'm having some trouble some days keeping up with all this.  She tells me that she's going on a date (am I allowed to say that?), not sure if it's serious. She said it's kind of like when Kelly and Jeff went on a date. She couldn't remember if they went to the Max for their date...and if they did, that's kind of pathetic since that's where they both worked. I don't think her date was much like Kelly and Jeff's. I mean, I can't say for sure but hopefully they're not going to a local high school hang out. If they did or had plans to, I could point them the right direction (there's a 7-11 right next to my school). I hope the date went well, but I hope the end result is better than Kelly and Jeff, maybe he'll be her Zack (minus the arrogance).

Lesson learned: Protecting peoples' identity is apparently not important to me.

January 28- Get a life

Episode watched: Las Vegas Part 3

A good friend of mine was in town tonight so we grabbed a bite and got to talking about this and that. One of the things that we talked about was this blog and I told him kind of how I was doing it and the almost 0% chance that I'll actually make it to 2012, but it's worth the shot. He is totally against me being able to use the College Years and says that they don't count as part of the show. I beg to differ, but I appreciate everyone's opinion.  We talked about numerous discrepancies that are in the show; one that continually bugs me that I mentioned earlier is the transition from the Bliss era to the Bayside era. I told him that the gang used to go to JFK Junior High School somewhere in the middle of Indiana and the next season made the jump from Indiana to Bayside...it could make sense if they would not have brought their principal and three of their students, oh and if the school didn't look exactly the same. I'm still baffled and confused, there is also the chance that I am completely overanalyzing the show and need to get a life.

Lesson learned: I need to get a life.

January 27 - Exhaustion

Episode Watched: Kelly starts her job at the Max

I wish that I could hire a stand-in, a fake, an impostor to teach my classes tomorrow, just like Zack hired James on a couple occasions to fill in as his dad and even play the role or Mr. Belding. If only there was some way that I could call into my job, have someone complete my duties and there be no penalty. After working a 14 hour day today, I wish the public school system had something like this to help teachers...if only.

Lesson learned: Posts will suck terribly when working from 6am-9pm.

January 26 - O Romeo, O Romeo

Episode watched  - The Glee Club

I was a substitute teacher once, probably the second worst job I had next to folding clothes at the Gap for 3 weeks in high school (it was because a cute girl from school worked there; I realized then and I realize now that I had absolutely no shot). When the gang had a substitute teacher in English they read Romeo and Juliet; we just began reading the play today in class. I couldn't help bring up the fact that they "read" it on show and how I would absolutely never make a substitute be responsible for teaching the play to freshmen. Don't get me wrong, I love the play, I've read it now 20+ times but trying to get 14-15 year olds to love it is a whole other beast.

Lesson learned: Save sub days for early retirement.

January 25 - Slight of hand

Episode watched: Kelly goes to Paris

I told one of my students that he reminded me of Max. He didn't know who Max was. You don't know who Max was? He was the lovable owner of The Max...real creative name guy.  My student asked me if I knew a good way to get a date with a girl...now I didn't know if he wanted advice or if he was giving advice but either way I was intrigued. What kind of insight could a 17 have? And then he did it...he pulled out a deck of cards. He proceeded to show me and a group students a set of wonderful card tricks, we were thoroughly satisfied, entertained and will never get those 10 minutes of our life back. As he strutted confidently around the room shuffling and re-shuffling his deck, I couldn't help but wonder: how can a guy with a deck of cards NOT get a date?

Lesson learned: Not so much a new lesson learned, but more of a lesson I was reminded of all these years after attending to the Challenge School: a guy with a deck of cards (Playing or Magic the Gathering) almost NEVER gets the girl.

January 24 - Already resorting to seconds

Episode watched: Zack wants to go on the school ski trip

You may think it's settling, or maybe you think I've run out of steam, but to me it's just reliving and referencing seriously one of the best episodes of TV ever. I don't capitalize TV simply because I have to, but rather the emphasis on how integral this episode was to all of television. Jessie + caffeine pills seriously captured the hearts of the nation, tugged at the emotions that we wear on our sleeves and brought tears to the eyes of grown men (sans me). This morning I sure as hell could have used Jessie's little pill stash, I had a case of the Mondays. A serious, non-alcoholic hangover...maybe it's the organic, antibiotic free chicken I'm now eating, maybe I've got a case of the Jay Cutler's, but wow could I have used 200mg of caffeine.

Lesson learned: I won't do caffeine...not even once (thank you anti-meth campaign for allowing me to borrow the rights to your ever-so-catchy and incredibly disturbing commercials. I now take baths because of those commercials.)

January 23 - Playoffs! We're talking 'bout playoffs!

Episode watched: none

With a wonderful day full of conference championship football, one can't help think of the greatest victory in Bayside football history. The big game against Valley, red faces intact, Bayside overpowers Valley. Although it's rather unrelated, Jay Cutler's pouting is starting to get old.  How about that bloody elbow huh? Could the announcers have fixated on it any more? What a pansy.  If the Bears had to go any deeper at quarterback, they might have had to call Mario Lopez and see if he could still throw the old rock around.

Lesson learned: It's not about if you win or lose, but if you can hurt (emotionally or physically) the opponent...of course not seriously or unethically.

January 22 - Ehh....

Episode Watched: None

Coaching lacrosse right now is like Screech trying to get Lisa....

Lesson learned: Got a long, long way to go.

January 21 - Getting over the hump

Episode watched - Kelly wants to go on "Semester at the Sea"

A coworker's boyfriend bet that I would only last 3 weeks, at first I scoffed at such an asinine statement, but I must say that today was the most difficult of all days. I almost gave in, I almost tapped out, I almost shut down the blog and pulled my best J.D. Salinger and went into hiding. Then as my entire planning period was occupied by office guests whom I was easily able to zone out, I remembered something I saw during an episode of the Ms. Bliss era. The students were in middle school at John F. Kennedy Junior High and this week we (Google included) celebrated the 50th anniversary of his inauguration. I was thankful, I did a little jig, I finally answered the rhetorical "Ask not what your country can do for you, but what can you do for your country." Well Mr. President, you just gave me new life, a fresh perspective, and an idealistic attitude.

Lesson Learned: The gang went from JFK Junior High in Indiana to Bayside in California, this will be addressed later on.

January 20 - The Cooking Team

Episode watched: Zack falls for the school nurse (How the hell could Zack think she was better looking than Kelly?)

I quit the wrestling team and joined a cooking...no, no I didn't really but Slater did when he felt insecure about his wrestling. I hope he learned lots while in that cooking class, maybe how to bake a cake or a souffle. Right now in the middle of having to fend for myself for a month in terms of meals, I have turned to my prehistoric wrestling days and have forgotten how to cook anything good. My motto is "when in doubt, use Frank's wing sauce." I think I'm going to need to join Slater in that cooking class and figure out what to make over these next weeks.


Lesson learned: Frank's seriously goes with EVERYTHING.

January 19 - Rod vs. Rich?

Episode watched: I honest to goodness can't remember, I know I watched one but have no memory of which one it was. This is not good.

As the new semester began I sent an email describing how I think that I have taken the Rod Belding approach to teaching this summer. I have not intentions of planning a rafting trip with my students and then bailing on them the night before, but rather sitting back and enjoying it a little bit more. Maybe I should grow my hair out like Rod (flowing golden locks), have my students call me by my first name, and undermine the principal*. Teaching and education are all about the experience for kids and gaining both the classroom knowledge and the larger life skills that accompany it. If the teacher exudes a feeling of stress and of being overwhelmed then that will transfer to the kids. Gotta hide the burdens and pains of the job and ultimately hope that everyone enjoys the experience.

*Disclaimer: To any administrators, district people, others who have concern, I have zero intent on undermining the principal. I was joking, kidding, playin', making a comparison, I love my job, please don't tell on me...IT'S A JOKE!

Lesson of the day: Never, ever joke about insubordination...even when tenured.

January 18 - Wake Up San Francisco

Episode Watched: Buddy Bands and Friendship Bracelets

A couple of my students went to San Francisco this weekend with the Speech team? Debate team? Sorry coaches I can't remember which one it is, but regardless they went out to argue with other students...so I guess it's probably debate.  Anyway, while out there one of the young ladies was time warped to the golden ages of Uncle Jesse, Ranger Joe and Donna Jo Tanner; she couldn't help herself from bringing up various Full House episodes and relating life to a good Danny Tanner lesson.  Her coaches told her about my endeavor and she resolved that she would do her best to bring up Full House on a daily basis or however much she could. Her coach also told me that she would help me out in class by bringing up some SBTB stuff or asking me if I had done my job for the day.  I'm going to need as much help as possible.

Lesson of the day: If we all just do our part, we too can shape the minds of our youth. What's next? 90210? Boy Meets World? Sabrina the Teenage Witch? Step By Step?

January 17 - Birthday Party

Episode watched: none

I was talking to a good friend of my today, wishing her a happy birthday, throughout the conversation I was thinking about birthday related episodes and how to bring it up. Finally we started talking about SBTB and birthday's, I personally recall a party, whether it was a birthday party or not, that Zack didn't want to attend because Kelly would be there with creeper Jeff. I think it was Lisa's birthday. I can't be sure, I'm hoping I stumble upon this episode sometime soon so I clear myself of any misguided knowledge.  Once we got off the phone I realized that there was an entire episode about the gang forgetting Screech's birthday. How could I not remember? I've got some serious studying to do.

Lesson of the day: Know your shit.

January 16 - To Catch a Predator

Episode watched: none

We got sucked into watching one of television's classic shows, Dateline's "To Catch a Predator"...one of the most addicting shows in the world. It introduces America to some of the sleaziest, slimiest, dumbest and most pathetic criminals and one of America's most witty and cool-headed hosts, Chris Hansen.  My favorite are the creeps who just say that they came over to make a friend, or the alcohol and drugs weren't actually anything. The highlight of the night's episode was when one of the guys got tasered. Always funny. I brought up how Jeff was kind of a creep when he started dating Kelly when he was in college and she was in high school. Not that this an uncommon this today, but the guys was a manager of The Max and he dated one of his waitresses, conflict of interests, no?

Lesson Learned: Don't crap where you eat? Don't eat where you crap? It's one of those.

Episode - mmmhmm

Episode watched: none

It makes me happy when people bring up SBTB and how they have mentioned it during their day. This makes me happy for two reasons: 1. The disease is spreading. 2. I don't have to do too much thinking.  My brother is in town and told me that in a phone conversation with a phone they couldn't quite say what they wanted to say because of certain social situations so they just made the high-pitched "mmmhmmm" sound that Zack makes when he's dressed as a girl.  My big brother is growing up...how cute. 

Lesson learned: Zack Morris was a pretty ugly girl. 

January 14 - Stop that girl

Episode watched - Kelly falls for Prof. Lasky

Zack tried to stop Kelly from going abroad twice, once on her way to Paris for a summer of modeling in high school and a second time before she went on Semester at Sea while in college. Annie leaves for the Middle East tomorrow for a month, I think that if I write anything on here about trying to stop her plane the FBI and TSA would be all over me (do they do in home pat-downs?). So in our conversation I compared her leaving to that of Kelly and Zack, the only difference is I'm not going to sabotage a modeling career, nor propose on a boat to try to make her stay (sorry to disappoint).

Lesson learned: When things are out of your control, just hope for a good gift when they return :)

January 13 - It's like a disease

Episode watched: Slater heads to Hawaii

The purpose of this entire project is not just to see how much Saved By the Bell appears in my life, but also to spread the love of the show and help people remember how classic each episode and cliche scenario was.  Today a student had a dilemma, the normal type of dilemma that students have: How can I fit all of this different drinks in a tiny office fridge? When the student couldn't quite figure out the Tetris trap that he encountered he told a colleague of mine and her response was "In situations like these, just think to yourself, 'What would Kelly Kapowski do?"' I feel like a proud parent when their child scores a goal, like an honored lamaze teacher whose client breathed correctly or even a teacher whose student finally started putting their name on their papers. This is going to spread like H1N1...too soon?

Lesson learned: I still have 351 days left of this...shit!

January 12 - Group Projects

Episode watched: none

Group projects --- they can be the best part of school or they can be the worst. Now, I'm not doing a group project with any of my classes and often dread trying to make kids work together on any sort of large collaborative assignment. It generally turns into a mass flirt, throwing of blunt objects or sometimes the absurd short story about an overweight, one-legged band nerd named Lars who goes out for the football team.  Luckily the educational system forces/allows/coerces/rewards teachers with working collaboratively, once again, for better or for worse. As I sat in a teacher group meeting today I couldn't help think of Zack marketing and selling Buddy Bands with his group and how he failed them...of course until the Full House moment in the end when he swoops in with a good idea and saves face.

Lesson Learned: Every group has that douche bag...is it you?

January 11 - Plumber's Butt

Episode Watched: Zack joins the Rigmas

Every homeowner's worst fear during the winter is that their pipes burst...luckily that didn't happen to us, but water, leaking anywhere is as scary as a prostate exam (I fear the day). I got the call this morning that there was water in the basement, long story short, nothing serious but water was present.  I couldn't help think of Mr. Testaverde's test and the gang's attempt at passing. Zack and Screech call him and tell him that there's been a flood at the school. Little did they know that Mr. Testaverde was a long lost relative of Mario and Luigi (they're plumbers in case you just played the video game and didn't get to watch the television show; Netflix it if you haven't) and he shows up with wrench in hand.

Lesson learned: Never cry over spilled...water?

January 10 - Save the fruit flies

Episode watched: Ms. Bliss tries to save the 8th grade dance

There have been a rash of fruit flies hanging out in my office and classroom as of late. During lunch I had three girls sitting in my office watching me try to swat fruit flies.  They wanted to know why there were so many and it's because I luckily office next to the Genetics class that breeds fruit flies. One of them guessed that the "hippie" students must have let there's go in a peace protest. I told them about when Nikki refused to dissect frogs while in science class because of her overwhelming sense of morality.  One of my students said "Can you just internalize these thoughts and pretend like you said them?" And the answer young lady is "No, no I will not."

Lesson learned: Hippies are people too.

January 9 - The Weather Channel

Episode watched: none

California sure seemed like a nice place to live, it was always warm, the gang went to the beach and surfed and they even went on a white water rafting trip...now Colorado, it's snowing and it's been snowing all day. I think I'm the only teacher not praying for a snow day (call me crazy).  We were talking about weather in episodes and the biggest "weather" event that happened was the earthquake. Remember the earthquake? Zack gets stuck in the elevator with Mrs. Belding and Tori, pulls his best Doogie Howser and delivers the baby...thus Zack Belding was born.

Lesson learned: Never ride an elevator when you're fully dilated. 

January 8 - Jim Harbaugh

Episode watched: none

With Jim Harbaugh in sports news so much recently, I made a reference last night that I remembered Jim Harbaugh in an episode or referenced in an episode as Screech's cousin. I did as much research within my brain and on the internet as possible and today was only able to find that Harbaugh appeared in an episode of The New Class. I feel stupid, ignorant and have a general dislike of myself for such an embarrassing error.  I do still believe that sometime, somewhere he was brought up in another episode, but for now I'll swallow my pride and apologize to all whom I may have offended.

I know, I'm sorry coach!

Lesson of the day: I need to study more, I am nowhere near ready for Jeopardy.

January 7 - Mr. Belding is a perv

Episode watched: The College Years when Kelly wants to quit working at the health center

Once again, it absolutely does not matter how SBtB is brought as long as it is in some way mentioned for an entire year. Today, a friend of mine who is preparing to become a teacher, observed my class for some of her observation hours. At the end we were talking about the this and that and the blog. She told me a wonderful story about some of her friends who, while in school at DU, went to one of the numerous shady bars around campus and none other than Dennis Haskins (Mr. Belding) was at the bar! What the hell was he doing at a sleazy underage bar in Denver? (That's rhetorical, I know exactly what he was doing.) One thing led to another and one of the young ladies ended up getting her chest signed by the old man. Can you put that on eBay?

Lesson learned: I think Mr. Belding said it best, "Hey! Hey! Hey! What is going on here?"

January 6 - The Spring Musical

Episode Watched - Zack gambles Ms. Bliss's money on the stock market

Spring musical auditions are going on today and I have a bunch of students auditioning. I told them about the Snow White and Seven Dorks musical performance that they turned into some terrible attempt at a modern hip-hop performance.  The dorks were named: Dweeby, Nerdy, Geeky, Slimey, Shlumpy, Dumpy, and Norman (really? Norman? Come on). My hope is that my school and really any school doesn't try to over modernize anything. It also makes me think about how awkward it must be to have to kiss in high school performances, look what happened to Zack and Jessie. No bueno.

Lesson of the day: If it's classic, keep it classic. Huck Finn anyone?

January 5 - 423 for life

Episode Watched - Funny enough, the Hawaii episode I referenced yesterday.

So I had pretty much the best freshman year roommate at 'SC ever, maybe because he wore a do-rag and a cowboy hat at the same time or because the posters he put up were Snoop Dog and Britney Spears, whatever the reason, he's awesome.  So he emailed me today "wait wait wait. . . is this YOUR actual blog?" and thus began an email conversation about our freshman year and AC, Zack and Screech rooming together. I compared him to Screech, which probably deserves a swift kick to the groin, because if anyone was/is Screech it's me.  Yes, we had bunk beds just like Zack and Slater and yes I made my 6'2" roommate sleep on the top bunk all year...probably deserves another kick in the groin. Unfortunately we didn't have any attractive suitemates or an awesome RA, just a floor of drunks, recluses, musicians and a kid nicknamed Golden Girls.

He's the tall one.

Lesson of the Day: 423 for life.

January 4 - Transportation Nightmares

Episode Watched: The Summer of My Life

I got a phone call after my first class discussing the traffic situation from my house during rush hour.  I was quickly informed that the highway was backed up for miles and it took 3 times as long to arrive at the destination. Now, before I was yelled at, criticized and my life threatened for a situation in which I had absolutely no control, I reminded the caller of one of Jessie and Slater's classiest "traffic" fights.  During their Hawaiian experience they decide to take the Principals on a tour, after a possible shortcut, they end up getting the bus/van stuck in the mud.  Jessie and Slater stage a classy lover's quarrel, but ultimately make-up. I still don't understand how they never ended up together...is it because Jessie became a Las Vegas showgirl? Or is it because A.C. became an underrated talk show host? I mean, with a chest like that, who wouldn't want...

* I told my students about the resolution today...definitely sealed up the "crazy teacher" label.

Lesson learned: I like Jessie, not Slater. Don't let my above attempt at being witty confuse you. (Although Slater's pecs are enviable)

January 3 - Is that a fat joke?

Episode watched: Battle of the Sexes 

During lunch one of my students gave me a coupon for Weight Watchers, I lectured her about self-esteem and being critical of someone's body weight referencing the Date Auction when Wendy Parks outbid all of the good looking girls for a date with Zack. We talked about the fact that there is more important things than the way someone looks, that Zack ultimately learned that Wendy had a lot to offer as a person.

Lesson Learned: If you eat lunch in your teacher's office, expect some ridiculous conversations. 

January 2 - Caffeine Addiction

Episode watched: none

Caffeine addiction is not a joking matter...unless it's in reference to one of the most memorable of all episodes: Jessie's pill addition. While enjoying a Sunday brunch my grandmother offered my sister a cup of coffee, as a good older brother I am trying to ensure that my sister does not fall victim to caffeine addiction at a young age.  We discussed the seriousness of the issue and discussed how "unfunny" Jessie's addiction to caffeine pills was while trying to balance school and her new found musical talent...there's nothing more classic than Jessie falling into Zack's arms singing "I'm so excited! I'm so excited...I'm so scared."

Lesson learned: Sitcom writers often use caffeine pill addiction to scare teens...remember Fresh Prince of Bel-Air?

January 1 - The Movies

This blog has nothing to do with me; I'm not going to evaluate my life, analyze my future or talk about my feelings. I simply want to see how much "Saved By the Bell" plays a part in the life of a child of the 90's. Is it possible to bring up Zack, Lisa, Mr. Tuttle, Mr. Belding, Leon Carosi and other characters in the course of any given day?

Don't judge me. 

Episode watched: none

While driving past the movie theater today we were talking about what movies to see and just the overall movie going experience, in the course of the conversation I made reference to how bad Zack must have felt when Screech and Slater brought him to the movie theaters to escape Jeff and Kelly's relationship and ultimately they end up at the same theater on a date.

Lesson learned: Sit in the back corner of the theater to go undetected.